People working to overcome repression often report physical symptoms, including: Some of these effects can have far-reaching implications for your emotional well-being. Sigmund Freud, one of the first to explore and write about the idea of sexual repression, cautioned that repressing sexual urges could have unwanted consequences.
If you don’t want to have sex until you’re in a committed, long-term relationship, that’s entirely your decision. Some people might label this “prudish,” but remember it’s your desires that matter. There’s nothing wrong with only wanting one type of sex. Not wanting to try things like oral sex, anal sex, BDSM, or sex with multiple partners doesn’t mean you’re repressed. Some people have interest in a wide variety of sexual activities.
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Not knowing how to name or accept your sexuality as normal can cause plenty of distress. If your sexual orientation doesn’t align with that dictate, you might repress your feelings in order to avoid rejection. Many children learn, directly or indirectly, that only men and women should have sex with each other. Sexual orientation can also play into repression. Some children grow up questioning this message, and the desire for a sexual experience that’s positive for everyone involved can cause feelings of confusion, if early messages about sex relate to control. This (entirely faulty) belief may not seem to relate much to repression, but it does have an impact. In other scenarios, boys might grow up believing they have a right to sex and that it’s OK if women don’t enjoy it.
Strict gender rolesīeliefs about sex often relate back to an upbringing clearly defined by gender roles.įor example, girls might absorb the message it’s OK to trade sex for protection or affection, but not to express enjoyment - unless they want people to think of them as “sluts.” Sexual thoughts and arousal might cause confusion, even disgust, if you don’t know what causes them. You might reason that, if sex is normal and healthy, your parents would have mentioned it. You may not have absorbed negative ideas about sex, exactly, but some of what you heard from others might make sex seem weird and uncomfortable. If your caregivers didn’t talk about sex, your peers may have provided plenty of conflicting information that didn’t do much to normalize healthy sexual expression. If you decide your urges are unusual, you might bury those thoughts and have a tough time finding a positive sexual relationship. If you’ve had a lot of bad consensual sex, you might decide all sex is the same and question your desire for a different experience. Rape and sexual abuse can cause significant, long lasting emotional pain, and thoughts of sex might trigger memories and further distress, making it difficult to enjoy or want sex. Some caregivers might warn children about sex due to fears of sexually transmitted infections, teen pregnancy, or sexual trauma in their own pasts.Ī history of sexual trauma can also factor into repression. People tend to associate sexual repression with religious upbringings, but traditional ideas about sexual behavior can stem from other sources, too. Negative experiences or beliefs about sex Parents or other caregivers may teach these ideas directly, but you might also simply absorb them from watching other people as you grow up.Īt first, you might knowingly stifle sexual thoughts, but over time, this repression often becomes automatic. Typically, sexual repression happens in response to restrictive ideas or attitudes about sex.